Sorry for the misleading title. This post has nothing to do with the song by The Clash. My apologies.
Anyway, I've been seriously considering trying to take a teaching job in South Korea. From what I hear, the teaching jobs there are amazing. They pay well, look good on the resume, and give you Eat, Pray, Love style life experience. By all accounts, I should jump at the chance to take a job like that. Yet, I am hesitant.
I've been thinking about why I feel so uncertain about doing this. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I can't just point to one obvious concern. Rather, it's a number of small things that keep me weighed down here in Texas and afraid to fly across the Pacific. Here we go with the list:
First, I always feel freaked out about being somewhere where I don't know anyone. I'm very dependent on having friends and family in my life. I feel like I need the support of just knowing someone is there in case I get into trouble or something. There's always this fear that some disaster will happen, and even if nothing does happen, knowing there's help in driving distance gives me a sense of security. I never really spent a whole lot of time far away from home as a kid...or even as an adult for that matter. Maybe my parents should of sent me to boarding school when I was young.
Second, I'm a geek who needs other geeks! Seriously, I need someone else who I can have a total nerdgasm with every so often. It's a weird sort of connection that brightens up my day and makes me feel awesome. Part of the reason I play tabletop RPG's so regularly is for the connection that it brings. There's nothing like getting in a lively argument about Star Trek vs Star Wars or critiquing the latest crop of movies and video games. What happens if I get to Korea and every English speaker there is all boring and normal? That would make me nuts!
Lastly, there's the whole gay thing. As a gay man, I always run the risk of violating some serious taboos whenever I go to a place with a vastly different culture. It's something I have to handle with care. From what I've researched, homosexuality is generally regarded as negative in Korean society, but at the same time, there's sort of a cultural Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy in effect. The gay subculture there is fairly invisible compared to the West. Just to avoid any complications, I'll have to make a return trip to the closet if I go out there. It's not enough to simply not date. I have no idea what sort of cultural can of worms I might open up simply by saying I like guys. It should go without saying that this would be quite an adjustment to go from out loud and proud to living on the down low. It would stress me out all to hell. Still, I might be able to deal.
Anyway, those are the things holding me back. None of these three problems are huge in themselves, but they add up. These are the things I'll be thinking about as I decide to pursue a job out there or not.
