Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Finding Myself

I am trying to find myself.  Yes, I know that sounds super cliche, but I think it's the only way to properly describe what I'm going through right now.

More than a year ago, I graduated with a degree that's next to useless in the professional world.  Of course, I'm referring to my English degree.  As opposed to most college graduates I run into, I'm not going to sugarcoat the reality that getting a degree in English will make it really hard for you to find a job in the professional world.  Even under the best of circumstances, it will be a struggle unless you're utterly fortunate. That goes for other liberal arts majors too.

Ever since graduating, I've been looking for job.  Not a "would you like fries with that" minimum wage shit job, but a real job.  Perhaps I should say I'm looking for a career.  Anyway, here's something I've been thinking about.  Whatever job I take will become a part of my identity.  I'm not saying that I'll become defined by it, but my experiences of it will become a part of who I am for the rest of my life.  In that sense, by trying to find a job, I'm trying to find a part of my future self.  That old cliche saying is actually true of me at this moment.  I AM trying to find myself in some small way.

The realization of this has begun to sink in recently.  It wears at me.

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